Morose March

March was an awful month (with one tiny but huge exception ... see HERE).

March went like this:

(1) Cancel trip to spring training but forget to call hotel so get charged for it when you have already paid for tickets and race registrations that are non refundable (cost for trip not taken $300).

(2) Drive to SF and spend days in hospital for family member's surgery, witness family member get dropped on floor of hospital by incompetent nurses, extending hospital stay.

(3) Endure doctors and nurses inability to find effective medications for family member resulting in family member getting loopy and paranoid, then experience extreme pain.

(4) Use all frequent flyer miles on Jet blue and half of them on Southwest to book outrageously expensive last minute flights.

(5) Fly back to OC and have to borrow car from friends because my car is in SF because I couldn't leave family member when I was supposed to ... at least I have good friends!

(6) Fly back to SF, take additional 2 days off work to spend in hospital, then drive back to OC.

(7) Have continuous fight with parent about my "negativity" ... ummm it's been a terrible year, I can be a little negative if I want to be.

(8) My grandmother passes away, and I don't find out for 3 days. :(

(9) Book another outrageously expensive last minute flight to go to the funeral.  Take another day off work - the 6th in 3 weeks.

If I didn't live my life, I would not believe all this.  And in the moment, this was all horrible.  It is not any less horrible now that it is over, but at least it is over and I can look at it the good things:

(1)  Tickets I paid for were donated to underprivileged kids.

(2)  Family member's surgery went well and family member is slowly recovering.

(3)  They finally found a good combo of meds ... it took over a week, but they found one.

(4)  I had enough frequent flyer miles to cover the cost of a last minute flight.

(5)  Like I said, I have amazing friends.

(6)  Thankfully my work is understanding and allows and encourages me to take the time I need.

(7)  I don't really have a silver lining for this one ... sometimes I deserve to be negative.

(8)  At least she is not in more pain and she is reunited with my grandfather.

(9)  I was able to find and pay for a flight to attend the funeral.

I recently told someone I was sick and tired of trying to look for the silver linings, and truly I am.  Normally I am a positive, optimistic person, but recently it seems like keeps kicking me when I am down.  I am ready to stop having to SEARCH for the silver lining for awhile!

Living life everyday ... continually looking for silver linings ...