The Wedding Coordinator

Event planning is in my blood.  I have always liked throwing parties and getting people together to have a good time.  I am the one of my group of friends who typically plans our get-togethers whether they be birthday parties, monthly dinners, the random Saturday at the movies or other things that come along.  It has even crossed my mind once or twice (more lately) to start my own event business, but I have been a little apprehensive about the whole thing. 

A few weekends ago I had the opportunity to see how I would do at handling a wedding.  The sister of one of my best friends got married on Sunday July 3, 2011.  Her mom asked me if I would be the wedding coordinator for the day since the venue required that they have a person to supervise the activities including making sure the tables were set up right, directing the florist and band where to set things, working with the catering staff, helping out the photographer, answering questions for guests, and generally making sure that things went according to the timeline as smoothly as possible.  Despite the fact that I had no experience in this I gladly accepted the challenge.

The day of the wedding came and I met the bride and her mom at a hotel in LA.  I got the run down on what I was supposed to take care of, directions to places where I needed to pick up things, and then I loaded the car with all of the stuff that needed to be taken to the venue including: candles, kippots, toiletries for the bathroom, and various ceremonial items. 

The first stop on the list was to go to a bakery to pick up the challah, which if you are unfamiliar with the jewish religion is this AMAZING bread that pretty much everyone absolutely loves.  So I drove out to the bakery, and as is normal in LA, hit a good deal of traffic – what should have taken me about 20 mins took me about 45.  So I got to Stoneground Bakery and picked up the bread.  Little did I know I was supposed to pick up TWO breads!  (Lesson Number One: get specifics on what exactly you are supposed to pick up, a general idea is not gonna cut it).  

 mmmmm ... challah!

Then I drove back the venue, the beautiful Skirball CulturalCenter.  I wish I had had more time to walk the grounds and see the museum because it was gorgeous, but alas there was work to be done.  I made the first trip upstairs with just a couple things in my hand so that I was not roaming around trying to find the right building carrying 70lbs worth of wedding stuff.  I found the place quickly and entered through a side door.  A very helpful young lady sat there polishing the silverware for the evening.  She was very helpful in letting me know how to access everything and pointing me in the right direction.  I made a few more trips to and from the car and finally got everything upstairs. 

As I was just about to start rummaging through the boxes I got a phone call about the second challah.  I dropped everything and made a mad dash to my car.  I flew onto the 405 where I came to a dead stop trying to get onto 101 … the traffic lasted the entire way back to the bakery.  Luckily, I made up some time on the return trip.  When I finally got back up to the room, everything was thankfully as I left it.  I hurriedly got to work. 

First I arranged the toiletries baskets for the restrooms, and used some blue ribbon to make the plain baskets look a little more finished.  Then I gathered the items for the sign-in/gift table and arranged that in the entry way.  I set up all of the placecards on the front tables (thank go they were already alphabetically arranged!).  Before I knew it the photographers were there, the band was setting up and the florist had arrived.  Everything was in full swing and was coming together nicely. 

Finally the bridal party and the bride arrived downstairs and there was a small mixup with the flowers for the mother and grandmother of the groom.  After a couple of times running back and forth between the florist, the grooms mom was pleased with the small bouquet she had requested, and the grandmother had a perfectly fitting wrist corsage as opposed to the disliked pin corsage. (Lesson Number Two: be like the florist and have extras of things on hand so you can convert pin corsages to wrist corasages etc.)

Next, the Rabbi, also cousin of the bride, needed my help with locating and arranging the ceremonial items, making sure the wine was chilled and finding a corkscrew, and tying the rings onto the pillow for the ringbearer.  Unfortunately during these frenzied moments I was in the middle of getting ready myself.  I had just started my makeup.  I got part of the eye shadow on and he asked me about the license, then I got the other eye shadowed and he handed me the rings.  I got eyeliner on one eye and needed to find a corkscrew, then I finally got eyeliner on the other eye.  Before I could apply mascara asked about the favors for the guests and having them put on the tables.  It was a madhouse! (Lesson Number Three: get ready before everyone arrives because there will always be more questions and more interruptions when there are more people.)

But eventually, I got my makeup fully on and all of the little requests fulfilled.  The Rabbi had everything he needed, the photographer was taking pictures of the bride, and the wait staff even said they would arrange the party favors as long as I told them where they should be placed.  The calm before the storm … (Lesson Number Four: enjoy the calm.)

sister of the bride, mother of the bride, bride ... beautiful!

 

Before I knew it, it was time for the wedding to being.  I, with the help of one of the bride’s aunt got everyone lined up in order, and directed them on where to stand or sit once they walked up the aisle.  The music started playing and the first couple walked out.  Each couple fell into place on my command.  The music stopped, changed, and the bride was ready to be walked down the aisle by her mom.  Then the official ceremony was underway. 

During the actual ceremony there were a number of people who came in late, who I directed to some open seats.  Apparently there was a big accident on the 405 freeway and the Skirball exit was closed so they had to take some detour around to get to the site.  But I believe everyone (or almost everyone) made it.  When the ceremony was over, I helped the photographer keep the grandparents seated and brought them some appetizers while they waited.  Then, sensing that the families were starving while waiting to have their pictures taken I requested several plates be brought out just for them… this was a hit!  It kept everyone calm while giving the photographers the time they needed to do their jobs.  (Lesson Number Five:  food keeps people happy and distracted, so make sure that everyone is well fed.)

When the photos were done the families headed to the cocktail reception and then eventually everyone went into the dining room.  The biggest part of my job was over, and now it was just small details as to when to do the blessings, when to serve things, when to have speeches etc.  I communicated mostly with the band lead who was MCing the event.  Everything went off without a hitch!  (Lesson Number Six: if you are the bride and groom, don't be afraid to change the schedule a bit, move things around, add things, or remove things because this is your day.)

Although it was a little hectic being both a coordinator and a guest at the wedding, I had a ton of fun and learned A LOT.  I loved seeing all the behind the scenes stuff and lending a hand on such an important and special day.  I am very much looking forward to coordinating another wedding or similar event.  

Enjoying the wedding!

It takes gumption to be the wedding coordinator (or coordinator of any large scale event for that matter)!

Motivation Monday - J.K. Rowling

Sadly, the story of Harry Potter has come to an end with the release of the final movie.  But, there is hope that more amazing stories might come out of author J.K. Rowling.  In the midst of the Harry Potter hoopla, there was at least one movie made about how J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter – Magic Beyond Words.  This being a Lifetime movie I was a bit skeptical about how good it would be, but with nothing else to do one afternoon last week, I sat down to watch it. 

Much to my surprise, I found the movie to be engaging.  It started with her as a young girl and told how she had always wanted to be a writer.  It took you through her troubled teen years and showed how her mom was her biggest supporter.  Then she went off to college, graduated, and got a variety of jobs, all the while wishing she was writing.  She eventually got married and had a baby.  After leaving an abusive relationship she found herself jobless and homeless.  This is when she finally began to write … and write … and write.  She then was fortunate enough to find an agent who took a chance on her manuscript and submitted it to a new publishing company.  And thus, Harry Potter was born. 

For many watching this film, it is likely that they easily pulled the rags to riches story from the plot, but in reading between the lines, to me her story was more about picking yourself up by your bootstrings, taking chances, and learning to believe in yourself. 

J.K. Rowling found that she had basically hit rock bottom and I believe that is when she truly dug deep to find herself.  Everything she tried in the past – working for amnesty international, teaching, even getting married – had not made her happy.  But J.K. Rowling knew that she was meant to be a writer, it was all she ever wanted to do.  So she took a chance and started writing.  And then she took another chance and let someone read her writing.  And then she took another chance and submitted her writing to an agent.  And then she took another chance when she had her manuscript submitted to the publisher.  Each step of her journey she faced some sort of rejection and yet she persevered.  And each step of her journey she gained a little more confidence in her abilities as a writer. 

J.K. Rowling is an inspiration, not just because she wrote one of the most amazing series of all time, but because of the way she did it.  And there you have it … another motivation Monday.

Finding motivation takes gumption!  What motivates you?

Write on Wednesday - Status Anxiety

Yes, I realize that it is no longer Wednesday, but the point I believe is to find the time and inspiration to write … soooo … better late than never right?

This week’s Write on Wednesdays challenge was as follows:

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 6 - Status Anxiety: Log onto your Facebook/Twitter page and write down the first status update you see.  Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after your prompt. Stop when the buzzer rings.

Since I was late on this one I decided to write twice.  Both statuses are from facebook friends.  The first is when I clicked the Top News tab, the second was from the Most Recent tab.  Thanks to those two indiviudals who let me borrow their status update (if you even read this!)  Enjoy!

LESSON LEARNED.  NEVER ASK THE QUESTION UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER.  She sat in front of him in total silence, stunned to her core at what he had just said.  Things had not been right between them for a while, but still, had it really come to this? 

“Are you serious?” she asked still not believing the words that had just come out of his mouth.  How could he not want to even be friends anymore.  They had been friends forever.  They grew up together, went to grammar school and high school together, left for college on the same day and spoke almost every day they didn’t see each other in that four year span., they applied for grad school together, went to grad school together … everything … together. 

They had met for dinner because he was supposed to be telling her something great like he got a promotion or he put in an offer on a house he had been looking at or he closed his latest deal.  Anything but this … anything but telling her that his new girlfriend essentially forbid him from seeing her. 

THERE ARE NO WORDS.  JUST LOVE.  Alexis looked into those big beautiful brown eyes and sighed as she encircled him in her outstretched arms.  He was warm and solid.  He was always there when she needed a hug, always there when she got home from a hard day at work, always by her side to celebrate the best of times and help her cope with the worst of times.

She pulled away and smiled.  Theirs had been a long relationship starting in grad school when they first met through a mutual friend who had wanted to pawn him off.  An overzealous, rowdy, pain her friend had called him. 

Despite the lovely description, Alexis agreed to meet him.  It was love at first sight.  She knew she was in trouble as soon as his little brown paws slid into her hands, he wagged his tail and merrily licked her face.  There were no words, just love. 

This challenge was quite enjoyable and really show how anything could be a form of inspiration to write.  Again thank you to those who provided the status updates.

As last time, it takes gumption to share your written work!

Motivation Monday - "Settlin'" by Sugarland

I am typically a self-motivated person.  I take in praise and criticism, internalize it, consider it, and use it as fuel to keep going.  But, like most people I sometimes find myself in desperate need of a little “outside” motivation.  Sometimes I just need a little pick me up, something that reminds me why I am here, what I am doing, what is important etc.  … and sometimes I just need something that is going to put me in a good mood.

Fortunately there are a lot of motivating things out there if you are looking in the right place.  If you use your senses and open your mind you will find motivation … somewhere.  Some of the places I find motivation include: music, books, movies, and television.  I also find motivation by observing the people I know and love.  (I think this comes out of the notion “if he/she can do it then so can I!” but I am not entirely sure.)

Since motivation is a huge factor in why we do things I figured I would dedicate some time to it in my blog.  From now on Mondays are not just Mondays, they are Motivation Mondays!  Thus, on Mondays I will be blogging about things that motivate me, keep me going, or just in general lift my spirits.  Some of the things will work for you, some of the things you will think I am crazy for finding motivating, and some things you probably will not even bother to read, but that is ok.  Please feel free to share anything that motivates you as well … it never hurts to have extra motivation!

And so it begins ...

The last few weeks I have had the same Sugarland CD playing in my car and one of the songs I have been playing several times whenever I feel I need a lift or some encouragement.  The song is entitled “Settlin’”.  Press play on the video below to hear the song or you can just peruse the lyrics.

Here are the lyrics:

Fifteen minutes left to throw me together
For Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Forever
Don't know why I even try when I know how it ends
Lookin' like another, "Maybe we can be friends."
I've been leaving it up to fate
It's my life so it's mine to make

Chorus:
I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-so
For the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high
"Just enough," ain't enough this time
I ain't settlin' for anything less than everything

With some good red wine
And my brand new shoes
Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room
Take a chance on love, and try how it feels
With my heart wide open
Yeah, you know I will
Find what it means to be the girl
Who changed her mind
And changed the world

Repeat chorus

I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-so
For the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high
"Just enough," ain't enough this time

I ain't settlin'
For just getting by
I've had enough so-so
For the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low
So raise the bar high

I ain't settlin'
No, no, no, no, no, no
So raise the bar high, high

The song is catchy on its own, but the lyrics really spoke to me.  It is MY life, so it is MINE to make.  I have had it with just "so-so" and being "good" "ok" or "fine."  I want to be more than that and I have the determination to work toward it.  No settling!! 

Finding motivation takes gumption!

Write on Wednesdays - Write the Music

I recently came across the blog Ink Paper Pen quite by accident.  The author of the blog has started a challenge called “Write on Wednesdays”.  The premise is simple: read the prompt that is given, set the timer for 5 minutes, write until the timer goes off, and that’s it!  I have always had an interest in writing (I think it came along with my profound love of reading) so I figured I would give this a try. 

Here are the “directions” from the original blog:

The Write On Wednesdays Rules: First of all, I am not a big fan of rules. Feel free to get creative with the writing exercises. But please try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays to leave a comment. You can grab the button for Write On Wednesdays from my sidebar.

And now for this week’s prompt:

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 5: Write the Music - A bit of choice this week: Pick your favorite song and write down the first line of lyrics OR turn on the radio and write down the first line of lyrics you hear. Then set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head after your writing prompt.  Stop when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. 

Extra Credit: After you do the exercise, try it again but this time play the song while you write. Could be an interesting way to get the creativity going... 

I had a hard time picking a “favorite song” so instead I just went to my itunes and picked the most played song.  There were 2: Close by Rascal Flatts and Everything but Mine by the Backstreet Boys.  So ... I decided to write both!  :)

Close – Rascal Flatts

It’s just another simple voicemail message or at least that is what Sam thought when she dialed in to retrieve it.  Probably just Mom checking in or Adam asking if I want to see a movie tonight or maybe it’s my trainer rescheduling our 5am session tomorrow … oooh please let that be it, Sam thought as she waited for the message to play. 

“You have one new message.  First new message,” the recording droned on.  Then there was silence on the other end of the line as if the caller had hung up or something. 

“Bummer” Sam muttered as she pulled the phone away from her ear.  Then she heard the voice from her past that she thought she had buried years ago. 

“Hey Sam … It’s Joe.  I, uh, I uh just thought … well, I don’t know what I thought.  Nevermind.  This was a bad idea.  Just nevermind.  Forget I called.”  Sam stared at the phone in shock.  She had not heard Joe’s voice for nearly a decade.  And she wished to God she had not heard it tonight.  Joe never did anything on a whim, which meant there was a reason he was calling, which meant she was going to have to call him back … even though he was the last person on the face of the planet she ever wanted to talk to again.

Everything But Mine – BSB

Walkin' along the sky, floating in the breeze, carefree and simple.  That’s what she wanted her life to be like – just like the birds.  They had the freedom to go anywhere and do anything they wanted.  They could be in a park one afternoon with adorable little kids and then the next night be on the top of the opera house listening to the most fantastic music seep through the walls.  If they did not like where they were, they just flew away and found another spot.  That was such a contrast to her planned by the minute, go-go-go lifestyle where she worried about her career and her family and her friends and her volunteer work and her political aspirations and her health and her looks and her soul and her religion and about a million other things. 

She never found the time for herself to just be free.  Even now as she was gazing out upon the birds longing to be with them, she sat inside a tall office building listening to the deposition from hell.  She had worked so hard to get here, but is this where she really wanted to be?

This “Write on Wednesday” challenge was a lot of fun and just took a few minutes to complete.  I was unsure about publishing these pieces, but part of writing is sharing.  So I hope you all enjoy and that you join me in writing on Wednesdays!

Writing and then sharing your written work takes gumption!

Remembering

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  As many of you may remember from reading one of my very first posts, my grandpa recently passed away (December 2010).  What I failed to divulge in the previous post was just how close I was to this incredible man.

When I was three and a half years old, my parents and I moved into my grandparent’s house for a short time while our house was under construction.  As it seems to happen with my family, there were about a million things going on that made our lives extremely hectic at that point in time including the fact that my mom was pregnant with my sister and I had a horrible case of pneumonia that kept me out of day care and school altogether.  I do not remember much of this time since I was very young, but there are moments that are vivid. 

The first moment that is clear is the Christmas morning of 1988, the first and only one of 2 Christmases that I woke up at my grandparents house.  I woke up very early as I normally do on Christmas and ran toward the living room.  Under the giant Christmas tree was a mound of presents for me to open.  I remember my grandpa sitting in his red robe and pajamas on their couch watching me and listening as I explained to him what the present was and how much I loved it.  He kept a smile on his face and pretended to hang on my every word.  

The second moment that is engrained into my head is when my mom and dad called from the hospital in January 1989 to tell me I had a little sister and that I could see her soon.  I am sure that I was glad to hear I would be seeing my family soon, but what I remember most is being lifted onto the counter by my grandpa.  No one was allowed to sit on the counter in my grandparents’ house, but they had one of those old school phones with the short cord that connected it to the wall, so in order for me to be able to talk on the phone I needed to sit on the counter.  It is funny the things you remember.

I am not sure if our connection was based on the living situation so early in my life, but whatever the explanation, there certainly was a connection.  During my grammar school years, I would spend time at my grandparents during the summer and my grandpa always made sure to take us swimming.  He would get on his swim trunks and grab the key from the closet and then walk us to the pool.  He typically sat in the sun while we played, but every once in a while, when the pool water was warm enough he would join us. 

In middle school, my parents taught my sister and I how to play a game called Pinochle, which was a card game they often played with my grandparents.  My sister and I caught on pretty fast and we became quite the players.  During the summer we would spend HOURS playing pinochle with my grandparents.  I will never forget the first time we beat them – they were shocked! 

In high school, I could always turn to my grandpa for answers, although I sometimes dreaded calling him because a simple answer would turn into a 2 hour explanation.  I typically called with questions regarding math (pre-calculus and trig mostly).  But it was a physics project that I remember the most.  I do not even recall the parameters of the project, although I am sure I have the assignment sheet somewhere in my collection of school things, but I remember the project itself.  I was a little bit lost on what we were required to do and unsure of where to start, so as usual I called my grandfather.  He kind of walked me through the parameters and then suggested that we both brainstorm a way to fulfill the project requirements.  A few days passed and I went down to their house to start work on the project.  My grandpa and I shared our ideas with each other, and as luck would have it, we came up with EXACTLY the same project idea – for the record the idea involved using incandescent and fluorescent light on the same piece of fabric to show how it changes the color.  We built the project together.  I got an A.

In college it was a little harder to visit my grandparents on a regular basis because I lived so far away.  I saw them every time I came home (once a month or every other month) but that was a huge difference from almost every week.  Luckily my grandpa always kept tabs on me.  He would call me just to see how I was doing.  Not a holiday passed when I did not hear from him if I was not at home.  Not a finals period passed without a call wishing me good luck.  Not a cold day passed without him calling me to make sure I was warm enough.  I almost always answered these calls and if I did not get them, I always called back.  On my college graduation day, my grandpa was there, taking pictures as usual and telling me how proud he was of me.

Law school took even more of my time, but I still visited whenever I was home, and his phone calls never stopped although I did miss more of them.  And more often than not he ended his voicemail messages with “don’t worry about calling back.  We know you are busy and just wanted to tell you we love you.”  Most times I called back, sometimes I didn’t.  Now I wish I had returned the call every time.

These are the big things I remember, but there are other things too.  He thought my cat Skipper was brilliant.  He always called me “dolly.”  When he made silly jokes he would put his hand over his mouth to cover his smile.  After his knee replacements he walked kind of pigeon-toed.  He took FOREVER to take a picture, but he took some of the best pictures I have ever seen.  He had the biggest sweet tooth known to mankind – both lunch and dinner required dessert.  He loved my grandma more than anyone in the entire world.  When he was frustrated he would sigh and then pull his hand through his thick silver hair.  He always sat at the same spot at the dining room table, the spot I still expect to see him filling when I walk through the front door.

I was standing next to my grandpa holding his hand at the moment he took his last breath on this earth.  As difficult as it was to be there, it felt good to know that I was with him for the only thing I knew he was afraid of – dying – just like he had been there all those millions of times I needed him. 

It is difficult to remember all these emotional things, but I also never want to forget them.  My grandpa always has had and always will have a special place in my heart. 

It takes gumption to remember.

The Happiness Project

I just finished a self-help-ish, do-it-yourself, a year of learning type book called The Happiness Project.  The Happiness Project is a book by Gretchen Rubin.  It describes her trials and tribulations throughout the year as she makes and then attempts to keep monthly resolutions to increase her level of happiness. 

It vaguely resembles Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert.  The books both detail a year long journey to find happiness, but that is where the similarities end.  In Eat, Pray, Love, the author abandons her normal everyday life in search of herself.  In The Happiness Project, Rubin embraces her life and strives to incorporate small changes into that already established framework. 

In The Happiness Project, Rubin had 11 categories of resolutions (one for every month of the year and then the last month is a review of sorts) and within the 11 categories she has 3-5 actual pinpoint resolutions that she attempts to keep.  The book describes how some things are much easier to do that she though like getting rid of clutter and observing the one minute rule (if you can do it in a minute or less, then do not put it off for later, do it right now) while other things are much, much harder like not seeking or expecting praise and reframing things in a positive or constructive light. 

The Happiness Project is a book that I could not put down.  Even though the author and I are at very different points in our lives (she is married with 2 kids and is living in NY while I am single with no kids living in CA), I could relate to her.  I think this was simply because we deep down are searching for the same thing, just like everyone else … we are searching for happiness.  This search of happiness is what connects all of us, its ultimate definition to each of us as to what happiness is and the manner in which we go about attaining it that makes us different. 

I found a lot of the book inspiring and have even made some of my own resolutions to find more happiness in my own life.  I would definitely recommend reading this book.  Also, check out Gretchen Rubin’s blog www.happiness-project.com.  I have started my own happiness project … care to join me?

Staring a Happiness Project takes gumption!